You painstakingly created your perfect guest list. Meticulously considered who should make the cut. Felt excited for those invited to celebrate your wedding but guilty for those that were not.
You've possibly dealt with your family trying to include that neighbor you haven't seen in 10 years. Or maybe you've had an awkward conversation with your friend about the plus one she wants to bring (you know, that guy you've never met). Or perhaps you left out that coworker you rarely talk to but invited the coworker, the one you constantly go to lunch and happy hour with.
And now, after all that, you have more than enough room on the invite list because there are more R.S.V.P. regrets than you anticipated. What. The. F*&k.
You're tired, irritated, and bummed. How can this be? This is your wedding! Doesn't everyone realize how important this day is to you and your fiancé?! These feelings are entirely normal. But how do you move past the negative emotions of rejection and resentment?
Here are some strategies to help you cope with the R.S.V.P. blues and make the most of your wedding celebration.
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU
You may have started spiraling, questioning your connections and friendships. Where is the loyalty of these people? Where is the love? It's possible you take it all very personally. (Tough love) Well, stop that. Stop that right now.
When faced with declines, it's easy to spiral into negative thoughts and question the loyalty and love of your friends and family. However, it's essential to remind yourself that these declines are not personal. People may have work commitments, family responsibilities, travel issues, financial constraints, or childcare challenges that prevent them from attending your wedding. It's important to understand that life can be complicated, and their inability to attend is not a reflection on your relationship or the significance of your wedding day.
IT'S NOT ABOUT WHO ISN'T THERE
It's about who is there. Try to change your mindset (although, yes, usually easier said than done). Alter those negative feelings by focusing on the positives as much as possible. Every yes, is a guest showing up for you.
Those who can attend are there to celebrate your love story. These guests are there to show their support and love for you and your partner. They're thrilled to share in this special and heartfelt experience. By focusing on the joy and happiness of those who can attend, you'll create a more positive and uplifting atmosphere for your wedding day.
IT SAVES YOU MONEY
Embrace the financial savings! While it may not be the most comforting thought initially, a lower guest count can actually save you money. With fewer guests, you'll spend less on elements such as catering, drinks, rentals, favors, escort cards, and even transportation if you're providing it. This financial relief may allow you to splurge on another aspect of your wedding you didn't think was possible. Or add those dollars back to your wallet, sit back and enjoy the savings! Just remember to keep an eye on contract minimums and deadlines to ensure you can take advantage of any potential cost reductions.
YOU CAN ADD OTHERS
It's still okay to invite those not receiving a round one invite. If your budget is flexible and it's more about the guest count than the dollars saved, add more people!
You can discreetly send invitations to those who didn't make the initial cut. This process can be smooth, especially if you get declines far in advance of the R.S.V.P. deadline. I've also had couples be very upfront with people with a simple "hey, we weren't able to invite you initially for (budget/venue) restrictions, but we're now able to open our guest list to more friends!"
Going this route will still ensure that your celebration is at max capacity!
IT CREATES A MORE INTIMATE FEEL
Enjoy the intimacy of a smaller gathering! There are some definite perks to having a smaller guest count. The quality of time with your nearest and dearest drastically increases.
The more people in attendance, the more you're bouncing from person to person, trying to ensure everyone feels paid attention to. And it's no surprise or secret that it's rare for couples with higher guest counts to interact with everyone in attendance. When there are fewer people, there's more one-on-one time to spend with those loved ones. Embrace the opportunity to create lasting memories with those closest to you.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST…
Fewer people mean more cake to be had by all! The sweet tooths in your crowd will surely appreciate this silver lining.
In conclusion, while it's natural to feel disappointed by a higher-than-expected number of R.S.V.P. declines, there are ways to turn this situation into a positive experience for your wedding day. By changing your mindset, focusing on the people who will be there, and making the most of the financial savings and opportunities for intimacy, you can create a memorable and meaningful celebration that you and your partner will treasure forever. Remember the true purpose of your wedding day: to embark on a new chapter of your life with your partner by your side.
Happy Planning!
Have you started receiving your R.S.V.P.s?
✨The Wedding Budget Roadmap✨
Also, grab a copy of The Wedding Budget Roadmap (with Budget Checklist) HERE! This step-by-step guide will help you and your partner navigate the financial aspects of wedding planning with confidence and ease.